Don’t get them something. Get them off instead.

Image by Khusen Rustamov from Pixabay

What gift do you really want? Is it really that new sweater or tie? If you’re honest with yourself, would the answer be to feel sexual arousal again, or to have some kind of ramped up and new sexual experience? What if all you want for Christmas is an orgasm? You wouldn’t be alone.

So how do you give the gift of arousal and orgasm to yourself or to your partner? It’s about bringing in the toys, ideas, and accessories that you need to turn on and get it on! …


Does your mouth get wet when you eat?

Photo by Dainis Graveris on SexualAlpha

Do you make sounds of anticipation when you smell a good meal, or when that first morsel is pressing between teeth and tongue? Have you ever moaned “Oh God” after you have tasted something extraordinary or during an orgasm? Hmmmm. Maybe I should have named this blog; “Everything You Wanted to Know About Food and Sex but was afraid to ask.” As a sex, relationship and pleasure consultant, I think we should spend more time talking and thinking about the relationship between our food and sexuality; it’s all connected. After all, everybody eats. …


And how we can get it. Even by ourselves. In the middle of a pandemic.

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

What is painfully true is that as you age, if you give up on sex, then sex will give up on you. This can happen as early as your mid-30s. If you have stopped self-pleasuring, stopped being intimate with a partner or have no partner to be intimate with, and give no effort to the various practices that are possible to keep your libido and your vagina healthy — you may end up with a vagina with a thinning wall that could cause bleeding and pain when you want to have sex again.

When we don’t stimulate our sexual desires…


Some sexy tips to let yourselves “play”, while you “play with yourselves”

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

We all dream of finding that perfect someone to live happily ever after with. And many of us do find that someone. Everything feels right from how you fit together holding hands to how you make love. There is the excitement of the engagement, planning a wedding, honeymoon, and finding a new home together. The sexual fire between a couple usually begins to simmer down once life has finally settled into the “happily ever after” part. Why is that? …


Life is generous and wants to give you things.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Acceptance is to receive willingly. Life is generous and wants to give you things. When people try to give you things (acts of service, kindness, gifts, emotional support) and you push them away, they notice and give less. Start paying attention to the way that life is always trying to give to you. Remember that you have to have your receptors open. Practice saying “Thank you”.

1. Thank you for taking out the garbage.

2. Thank you for bring me coffee.

3. Thank you for calling me back.

4. Thank you…


It’s not always as easy and natural as we’d like to think.

Image by adamkontor from Pixabay

You can’t open a newspaper, or turn on the news with reading about sexual assault, rape culture and scandals that are changing not only people’s lives but the way people are thinking about sexual encounters, especially in this age of hook ups and casual sex.

It’s not as intuitive as some folks would like to think it is.

But who is actually teaching people how to initiate sex and get consent? It’s not as intuitive as some folks would like to think it is.

It would be helpful to understand first how most people begin sexual encounters. That part is…


You’re Hot As F**K

Photo by Rachel Marie Castillo Photography

As a sexuality and body positivity educator, I know how difficult it is for people to change their “stories” about their body and their sexuality. I also know how essential it is for all of us to love and embrace our bodies. This ability to not only accept ourselves in the skin that we’re in and our own unique expression of our sexuality may be the most healing, transformational and difficult practice for people to master. Think of it this way; if 10,000 hours equals mastery of a subject — how many hours have you spent hating your own body…


Time to unlearn what we have learned

Image by Jose Benito Garzon from Pixabay

As woman, it’s deeply ingrained in us (from birth) to put others needs before our own. That receiving sexual pleasure is the mark of a wanton hussy. A “bad girl” — and not a gift of love or gratitude from our “giver”.

Why? Here’s a start:

  1. You have made up your mind that other’s people needs are more important than your own.

2. By becoming an expert on other people’s needs you forget about your own actual desires.

3. You have been taught that only a “bad girl/person” receives and takes pleasure.


It’s edgy work and sometimes it’s controversial

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Somatic means through the body. It’s edgy work. It’s sometimes controversial. Fair warning: I have a lot of opinions about how somatic bodywork should be practiced. What follows are my opinions and yes, they are shared by many of my colleagues. Just like in any field of practice, not everyone likes everyone. There are failures and successes. There are betrayals, regrets, mistakes, and awesome achievements.

Somatic sex educators teach through body experiences designed to nurture, deepen or awaken the sensual self. These experiences can include coaching in breath, movement, body awareness, boundary-setting, communication, anatomy, sensate focus, massage, erotic trance and…


Now women need sexual energy and release more than ever

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

I’m in the trenches with women in the midst of COVID 19 and all the things that is happening in our country. The impact on our bodies and our sexuality is huge. Bodies and tensions are tighter than a drum.

Hyper-vigilance is the highest I’ve ever encountered in the decade of doing this sexual body work in immersion with women. The impact of this time has had a deep impact on our bodies and our emotional health. …

Pamela Madsen

Fearless Sexuality Educator, Writer & Advocate for a woman’s relationship with her whole self. Sensuality Retreats Around the World.Learn more backtothebody.org

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