Inside My Erotic Session with a Sexological Bodyworker…
Overcoming my body’s resistance to receiving pleasure
Yesterday, I was all chop the wood, gather the water, make the fire. In other words, I was so focused on “Survival”. How to get from one place to another — and get it done.
Fuck pleasure, I have things to get done.
I had planned for pleasure, because I know that is how I will ensure it’s nourishment for my body. And the truth is, that when it was time to go, I had no desire for it. I was all, “fuck pleasure, I have things to get done”. My body didn’t say “Give me pleasure now, please.” Instead my body said; “There is too much traffic”, “I don’t need this” or “I have other things to do.”
And I thought about canceling my session to get on “the table” and work with a talented Somatic Sex Educator. I didn’t want to “Table Dance”. I felt no desire in my body. I was empty.
But of course I went. I sat there looking at the looming table — — all the carefully set out objects of pleasures that maybe my body could want. The stage was set. I was not. My practitioner looked at me, all crossed legged on his sofa. “I have no desire today”, the celebrated sex goddess said.
“Maybe I am having responsive desire today? Maybe once you touch me, I will feel like…
