Why I’m No Longer The Woman My Husband Married

Pamela Madsen
3 min readJul 24, 2020

But 30 years on, we’re still in love.

And here we are, 30 years later…

We’ve been lied to for centuries.

Love songs and fairy tales have led us to believe love is static — that marriage seals the deal and we’re always supposed to want exactly what we wanted in that dopamine filled moment when we put rings on each others fingers.

Love between a married couple doesn’t and shouldn’t evolve or change.

But it’s not true. Even though we’re still together, I’m not the same woman my husband married 30 years ago.

I’m not the same woman my husband married 30 years ago.

I’ve have been many women since then; A newlywed who delighted in a spice rack at her wedding shower, a kindergarten teacher whose tools of the trade were songs, crayons and picture books, a journalist, published author, top blogger, ghost writer.

I’ve been an activist, lawmaker, founder of a fertility non-profit, and a professional agitator of change that has been honored, pandered to AND later fired (but that’s another story).

Behind closed doors, I’ve been sexually satisfied and terribly frustrated.

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Pamela Madsen
Pamela Madsen

Written by Pamela Madsen

Fearless Sexuality Educator, Writer & Advocate for a woman’s relationship with her whole self. Sensuality Retreats Around the World.Learn more backtothebody.org